Honoring Yourself Through Change

Life is full of change.  If your life has been the exact same for an extended period of time, chances are you haven't been making change.  Change does not need to be drastic.  Many people often feel change must be major in order to "make a difference".   It doesn't be.  Change can be as simple as flossing your teeth after every meal instead of once a day, so you avoid cavities at your next dental visit.  That is a simple act that has long-term, positive impact on your health.

When we think about change, it can be uncomfortable and daunting or it can be inspiring and uplifting.  Change is active.  It turns a possibility into a reality.  If one continuously works to make change, that person is likely to grow into making more change.  Change isn't forced upon someone, it's initiated from within.  Sometimes people try to change each other but the fact is we can only change ourselves.

Don't change because someone wants you to.  It will lead to resentment or frustration for all parties involved.  Know who you are, what you stand for and don't succumb to the ideals or standards that others want to hold you to.  Work to put yourself into situations where your standards and ideals are shared among those around you.  This could applies to romantic relationships, working relationships and friendships.  Don't accept anything lesser because it seems like the right thing to do.  Do what is best for you.  This level of commitment to self will influence the commitments you make with everyone else in your life.

Life Goal Planning: Step one is to identify.

In response to a request to cover this topic, I want to offer up some initial thoughts on how to create life goals. I’ll offer suggestions up in pieces so that it is easy to do and hopefully will help plan accordingly.

So, what is a life goal?  That is the first question to answer.  For some, that is a career goal. For others, it can mean financial freedom or success, which also vary by person.  For others it can be a fitness goal or to have a romantic relationship by a specific point in time.  Think about what it is you mean when you say life goal.  It could mean all of these things and more!

Once you have identified your goal, it’s time to really think about what it is you specifically want to achieve.  So, if you say, “I want to eliminate debt,” that can mean different things to different people. For one person, it could be paying off a student loan while for another, it could be paying off any debt including mortgage, car payments, credit cards, etc.  Be very specific about what it is you want to achieve and ideally identify the timeframe you would like to achieve it by.

You’re off into the first step in planning your goal!

Is technology making it harder to meet people?

Tracy and her husband, Jim

When I get asked how I met my husband of 10 years, I answer, “It was totally random.”  I get a look of surprise because it truly was happenstance.  I was walking out of my place of employment to find an event being hosted by the company my husband worked for at the time.  A colleague asked me to join the conversation he was having, so I did.  There I met a variety of people, one of whom is now my husband.  Looking back on that situation, I don’t know if I would’ve met him knowing the way we use technology today.

Let’s imagine that instead of me looking around and catching the attention of my colleague, I was texting on my phone or on a call.  My colleague would’ve noticed I was “busy” and probably would not have invited me to join his conversation – thereby missing my chance to meet my husband.

In just talking to a co-worker about the fact far too many people are spending their time in lines, bars, restaurants, waiting rooms, cars, stores, parks, beaches and streets while on their phones means they’re staring more at a screen than the people around them. 

When was the last time you found yourself in casual conversation with someone randomly because you were in the same place at the same time?  This is how acquaintances, friendships, and relationships come about – by interacting with each other in the environment we’re in.  It’s enjoying the moment and making the most of it. 

Take a week without using your phone other than to actually talk to someone.  Look around you.  Observe and interact with the people you’re sharing a place or experience with.  You may be surprised with who you meet.