Reflection: Time away from home

Time away from home is always a good thing.  Taking some time alone for reflection and daily responsibilities allows you a clear perspective on what is important to you in life.  It's a wonderful way to reconnect with your relationship to yourself. I just spent three weeks in Manhattan and thought it would be nice to share my revelations and reminders while I was away from home.

1.  Everything you need is within reach, you have to extend your arms and your field of vision to obtain it

2.  Time alone is healthy

3.  Girl time is special

4.  Singing along to silly songs makes me laugh

5.  Brunch is my favorite meal

6.  I don’t need to eat as much as I think I do

7.  Wine and water are my only beverage requirements

8.  Soup is underrated

9.  I need to wear heels more when going out

10.  I appreciate walking barefoot at home

11.  I am a neat freak

12.  I enjoy a simple meal out as much as a home-cooked one

13.  I love fresh produce and farmer's markets

14.  There is no such thing as sleeping in too late

15.  Yoga and walking are simple ways to stay in shape

16.   I love hiking and playing tennis 

17.  I value blue skies, mountains and sprawling vistas

18.  The west coast suits my personality and my philosophy

19.  I need a balance of work and play to be happy

20.  I can work from anywhere but anywhere doesn't work for me

21.  A good internet connection makes a huge difference

22.  I enjoy saying "good morning" to anyone on the street and receiving a reply

23.  I’m friendly and approachable by nature

24.  My partnership with my husband is a rare gem

25.  Love does conquer all

Are you “Relationship Ready”?

There are those who know when they want a relationship and those who don’t but think they do.  Those of you who are satisfied being single, enjoying that time to yourself and will readily settle down with the right person when that person comes along you are a to be commended!  It takes confidence, self-awareness and honesty to realize when you are truly ready to be in a relationship.  

There are many people walking around wondering where their special someone is and eager (and maybe even over-eager) to find that person.  However, each person they meet just doesn’t live up to their expectations, requirements or needs.  One question to ask yourself is, “are you really ready for a relationship?”  Thinking you are and really being ready are often confused.  

If you find yourself longing for a romantic partner but each person you meet has something wrong with them (e.g. they talk too fast, their left eyebrow needs trimming, they’re too short, they aren’t as stylish as you) the issue may not be with them, it may be with you.  Being picky is one thing but being overly critical is another.

Think about what you require from your partner long-term.  For me some of my requirements include:  someone who makes me laugh, who loves me for who I am, who demonstrates his love for me passionately and wholeheartedly, who is honest, forgiving and growth-oriented, who respects me and allows me to be a better person.  I have about 10 things on my list but they don’t entail fingernail length, eye color and whether he’s fashionable.  There are the “nice to have” items but they don’t make someone a great person and a great partner and therefore can’t be a deal-breaker in my relationship.

If you can focus on the fundamentals of what you need from someone, it’s because you have a strong sense of who you are and what is important to you in your life.

Remember, you cannot change anyone but yourself.

The Most Meaningful Relationships

Last week, the New York Times blog posed the question, “What relationship is most meaningful to you?”

Many people responded with their friends or family being the most meaningful but there was one person who went further than that and said the most meaningful relationship they have is with themselves.  I was happy to see someone was able to point inward in response to this question.

When it comes to identifying the relationship from which all others extends, it is the relationship with our self.  If we do not love our self, believe in our self, overcome our fears, explore what our self needs and what makes our self happy we will look for everyone else to fill these voids.  It is unfair to put that kind of expectation onto anyone else.  Once we have a strong relationship with our self, we can focus on developing strong and meaningful relationships with others.