5.31.2010

Pets are partners, too

Dealing with loss of any kind can be pretty traumatic.  For me right now, I'm dealing with the loss of one of my beloved cats, Max.  I grew up with cats and have lost them before but this loss has been far more painful for me, which is compounded by a few things.  One, I picked him and his brother out (more like, they picked me) almost 10 years ago.  Two, I learned that they were Maine Coones (if not pure bred, darn close) so they got to be gigantic and took up a lot of space on the couch, on the bed, on the counter, in the tub or wherever else they decided to visit with my husband and I.                                                                              

He would greet me at the door if I'd been gone for one hour, one week or one month with the same cheerful trot and meow.  I'd proceed to ask him how he was, what he had been doing, if he saw birds, if he wanted a treat and I would get at least one, if not more meows in return to each question.  It has been the most difficult pet loss of all because Max and I kind of adopted each other as buddies, while the same happened with his brother Angelo and my husband.

This means that any time I was sick, sad, happy, excited, lonely sleepy and everything in between, Max was there for me.  I was also there for him through vet visits, moves, and hair cuts until the last few weeks of his life, while his health declined rapidly due to a tumor in his intestinal tract.  My husband had to fill in for me during the week while I worked in Los Angeles and came home to see his health failing him on the weekends.  I wanted so badly to be here with him and every night on the phone, he would meow to me to let me know he was still here.

When I returned this past weekend, he looked a bit worse.  After my first day being here, his health declined to the point where I hurt just looking at him try to walk, eat and get comfortable while he occupied his favorite place on the patio.  His once 15-pound body had vanished into eight pounds of pained silent meows and glossed eyes.  He attempted to purr as I held him longer than I was ever allowed to in his life (see photo of his angry face as I held him a few years back).  The tumor occupying his belly wasn't allowing him to obtain nutrients but his calm demeanor allowed him to obtain all of the love and affection I was bestowing on him.

My husband and I took him into the vet to discuss having them board him while we took a pre-planned overnight trip, so they could give him his medicines.   We would instead be told he was so ill they didn't think he would make it through our trip, let alone through the night.  Needless to say, Max left us that day and it was the most pain I've felt in a really long time.  I lost one of my babies.  I'm a cat mom and felt a part of me left when he did.  A day hasn't gone by since without crying and wondering if his brother will enjoy being the only meow of the house.  I hope Angelo chooses to stay with us for many years to come because I need him to be my buddy now and meow back when I talk to him.
 
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