12.07.2011

How Environment Changes Beliefs


I was thinking back to a relationship I had once, where my boyfriend would constantly point out other people around us and make some type of disparaging comment about them.  At first, I was appalled and ignored what he was saying.  Then I began questioning him as to why he would make such assumptions about someone just based on looking at them.  He didn’t know their story, just like they didn’t know his.  He was often judged and misperceived based on how he looked.  He dressed in a way that didn’t present an immediate positive impression and I wonder if that was because he himself didn’t feel comfortable with what people thought about him, so he played this game with strangers to boost his own confidence.  

As our relationship developed and became serious, I found myself playing along with his game, even though I didn’t agree with it.  The debating and fighting over the principle took a back seat to having a relationship with a guy who was otherwise kind, loving and appreciative of me.  It felt like a small sacrifice until the time came for me to decide whether or not we could be married.  I opted against a lifelong relationship with him and this belittling behavior was a huge basis for my decision.  I could not change this about him and I also wasn’t going to tolerate it for the rest of my life.  His environment of negativity and low self worth was influencing my perception of others and ultimately me, and I was no longer willing to tolerate the toxicity.  

Pay attention to your relationships, both personally and professionally.  Think about whether they force you to fight your beliefs and try to diminish your sense of worth.  It is the people who fight your fundamental beliefs who have an issue with themselves and try to blame you as a result.  

Remember who you are, your strengths, your beliefs and never let your environment change who you are. 

“Your life is the sum result of all the choices you make, both consciously and unconsciously. If you can control the process of choosing, you can take control of all aspects of your life. You can find the freedom that comes from being in charge of yourself.”— Robert F. Bennett 
 
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