I posted yesterday that it is said, “when the going gets tough, the tough get going.” This leaves many people longing to be tough but is being tough the answer? I promised to write about this.
Here I am writing a piece about what I believe this phrase means. Let’s just break this down. First, I'll discuss the “when the going gets tough” portion. Unfortunately, more and more people have been finding themselves in a tougher position in the past few years. I have friends who were laid off over a year ago and not working and others more recently who are trying to find a job. People who are still working have been put in tougher positions by working more jobs at once, being paid the same, if not less than they were hired for. People are stressed out because they’re overworked, afraid to take vacation and spend more of their free time trying to catch up from not being home. Others are stressed because they’re unemployed, trying to find work but no one wants to pay anything for anyone anymore and they end up hopeless (read my piece on how to become hopeful) or worse, depressed. So, the going has gotten tough according to this popular phrase but who are the tough, where are they going and how are they getting there?
I feel the use of the word “tough” is a bit of a misnomer. This could mean so many different things to different people. Tough could be described as big and strong to one person, mean and violent to another or even strong-willed from someone else’s perspective. So, which is it? Using my example of needing to find employment, being big, strong, mean or violent will not get you a job. Being strong-willed may get you a job but it’s no guarantee. So now what? You’re not considered tough?
I believe what the toughness in this phrase is referring to is the resiliency and resourcefulness people exhibit in hard times. When people can handle a tough time without massive stress and allow stress to help them through the tough time, that is real toughness. I’ve witnessed this and I’ll provide an example.
Two people get laid off.
One completely melts down, can’t believed it happened, is at a loss on what to do next, isn’t sure where to look for work and if he should. He talks to some people he knows about work but no one he knows is hiring. He sends some resumes out and doesn’t hear anything. He spends his days watching TV, stressing out, drinking a little more than usual and worrying about how he’s going to pay his bills. He and his girlfriend move in together because it seems like the right thing to do in order to cut costs. He feels like a total loser and just wishes things get better soon.
The other man is initially upset and shaken that this has happened to him. He knows many other people who have been laid off (and rehired) and reaches out to them to discuss how they coped with and recovered from the situation. He joins a social group to fill some of his free time and network. He also moves his gym time to the morning since he doesn’t have to rush off to work and also to connect with a new group of people who may be working out before work. He spends his free time reading business publications and researching tips on how to land a job in the current economy. He sends out resumes, follows up and gets a few interviews. Every bill that comes in motivates him to get off of unemployment insurance. He knows he will land a new job, it’s just a matter of when.
It’s quite obvious which of these two men is demonstrating resiliency and being resourceful in the stress of being laid off. It’s also easy to fall into either pattern. I know both people. The one’s who behave like the second man are now working. The one’s who act like the first guy are still unemployed trying to figure out what they could do. They’re not losers and it’s not that they lack toughness, they’re just unsure what to do in their current situation.
When the going gets tough in your life, will the resilient and resourceful part of you get going?
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