Stopping Your Revolving Door

I hear this a lot from both friends and clients when they’re telling me about an unfortunate situation, “This always happens to me.”  

Why does a situation always happen to someone?  Do they just have bad luck?  Is the world out to get them?  Is there any chance this can be stopped?

Everyone has a difference of opinion on this but I will say that a repeating pattern in your life is the result of you and the circumstances you attract.  You either continue to surround yourself with the people or situations which create the reoccurring event, or react to a behavior in the same manner every time.  You’re bound to end with the same result and question of “why does this keep happening to me?”

I’ll make this really simple.  If I desire a salad for lunch but instead I buy bread, peanut butter and jelly, I’m pretty likely to end up with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich instead of a salad, right?   Our revolving patterns are the same thing!   We ultimately choose what we want.  We have to obtain the tools to create what it is we want.

To make this a bit more life-like, I’ll use an example.  Let’s say when I am hurt by what someone said, I want to listen, talk calmly and express my feelings in a very deliberate, caring way.  However, when I become hurt maybe I walk out of a room at the sound of conflict or shout to get my point across.   I’m choosing to make that PB&J when I really wanted the salad.  Over time, it not only gets tiring for those I'm in conflict with but I get tired of it, too.  When we’re just not sure how to stop falling into the same habits and patterns, we need a nudge out of them.  Some of us are able to do this on our own and some of us just need a little guidance and support to change revolving patterns.