I was reading an article published in the UK about how the ease of access to porn is creating low sex relationships. It mentioned a 40% increase in men who don’t want to have sex with their partners with Internet porn cited as one of the reasons men don’t feel as physically frisky as they used to. I’m assuming the others are high stress and joblessness.
One time not too long ago, porn was something you had to go out and buy a ticket to see a show, purchase a physical copy of, be it a magazine or video. It was something secretive, something for men, something you looked at or watched and certainly not something you interacted with because it couldn’t talk back to you. A collection can now be stored online and out of site and available anywhere you carry a computer or PDA. It can be ordered in hotel rooms, on phone lines and via iTunes whenever a partner isn’t around. It can talk back and interact on the computer screen.
So, for someone who spends a lot of time alone does porn fill the void of a physical partner? How does porn usage change with the presence of a partner? How does a couple decide how much is too much? Can porn coexist in a relationship in a manner that is healthy and beneficial to both partners?
I have my opinions on the subject as it relates to me and my clients. I think porn can be healthy and an additive to a relationship. When it is the only sexual outlet or the only means to sexual satisfaction it can be problematic. A couple has to decide together what the boundaries and limits are to porn usage within the relationship. This means they have to be open to discussing what is an embarrassing topic for many, especially men since they tend to be the more frequent users of porn.
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